The Itchy Bosom (and The Cheese Man)

Go on, snigger like a silly school kid!

I came across this sign during a work day out – yeah, one of those recreational, get-to-know-colleagues-you-probably-haven't-spoken-to-before trips. But it was an oddly pleasant day, albeit with some weird happenings along the way.

The trip was an 18k-ish bike ride from Chichester to the West Witterings beach (and back), with a pub-stop at The Ship Inn, in the village of Itchenor halfway. And it was at lunch where things took an unusual turn.

Don't worry, there was absolutely nothing wrong with this steak I had. I just want you to have steak envy, cos it was the most divine steak I've had in a long time ;-)

Everyone was pretty chilled by this point. Stomachs full, bike muscles relaxing, brain gear becoming ciderfied. Then this turns up.

For some reason, we instantly became entranced. Ok, well, just me and a few others. The other, normal half of the group were unfazed.

Now, The Cheese Man is a curious fellow. We watched him wander several times between his van and the kitchen, empty-handed. We became confused when he disappeared into the back of the van for ages, to the point where we wondered whether there might be a Cheese Lady inside. We were concerned by the length of time he was taking to do what we assumed he was doing – delivering cheese – because at the rate he seemed to be going, he probably wouldn't get to his next delivery slot in time.

And then at last, with muted applause from the group, The Cheese Man unloaded several cheese-shaped packages and carried them into the kitchen, giving us a wave when he finally drove off.

So how does the itchy bosom fit into all of this? Well I'm sorry to disappoint those who thought this post was going to be some wild tale surrounding an itchy bosomed cheese man. But nonetheless, this side of the story still remains a puzzle.

After the Cheese Man incident, we hopped on a tiny ferry to take a shorter cycle route home, via Bosham.

(Some of the group had already left us by this point – clearly they must have got bored by our fascination with The Cheese Man and wanted to go home early)

It was on this short ferry ride that we spotted said Itchy Bosom sign. ‘Itchy’ being short for Itchenor, of course. But ‘Bosom’? Well, logic tells us that this is probably to do with the pronunciation.

Bosham aint ‘Bosh-em’ – it’s ‘Bosom’. But immature kids like me would then just pronounce this as ‘Boozum’. (Tee hee!). Maybe the owner of the ferry was simply tickled by the idea of having an Itchy Bosomed Ferry. We'll never know...